so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Randomize
