It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
