You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
