did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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