All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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