the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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