wanna go halves on a baby?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
