Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize