Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Even my vagina gasped.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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