Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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