What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
