just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
