Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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