his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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