I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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