Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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