Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
