I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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