in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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