Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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