what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
