I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
