His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
