Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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