Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize