i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
