I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
