you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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