she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
