So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
