it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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