i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
