I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
