a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
