i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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