omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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