Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm sobbing to NWA
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
