it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
