At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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