question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We need to get me chipped asap
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
