whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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