It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
