I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize