Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
