I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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