if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
