Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
