New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
