escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
