Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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