If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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