Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
