How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
