the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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