Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
