That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
