i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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