God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
