One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
In America we eat man semen.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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