Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
