allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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