She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
