i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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