I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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