you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
