a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
