PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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