Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
