i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
